i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
