A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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