In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
