No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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