love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
