On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
