He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
