I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
