its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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