Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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