we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
