I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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