You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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