so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
