All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
