I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
