I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
