Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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