stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The Olympian is in my bed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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