Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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