Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
