I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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