It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
