The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
