I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
