I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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