Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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