ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
