Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
