Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Found the puke drawer
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
