He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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