dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
