someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
