If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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