I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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