Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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