Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
