Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
