I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
