Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
