how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
