# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Text me some of your sweat
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
