4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
