you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
