Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
