Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
