did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
