1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize