dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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