It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
