I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
